Tina replies to her inbox messages
by serahfarron13
Summary: so, its raining tonight, and i feel like writting something completly random. Tina has been gone on vacation, and she comes home to reply to some instant messages. Everyone is alive in this little random thing i'm posting. i hope you enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

hello to all you people, bandits, and watchers, this is Tiny Tina here, and I am about to answer some of my mail, because when I was away on vacation, everyone in Pandora decided to blow up my inbox with messages, do not, and I repeat do NOT think I hate you! nooo I could never hate you! I have just been busy, oh and by the way I totally hate that rotten sack of poopoo Flesh stick.

- Mordecai, No I did not draw a unicorn on your wall, unicorns are pretty, buuuuuut they are difficult to draw, and besides, if i drew one on your wall it would have had an explosive drawn on its badonkadonk, I think you should ask Brick if he did it! maybe just maybe he might have decided to draw a pretty unicorn on your wall.

- Lillith, Hey boo! yes i did receive your gift, and wellllll i know you know i like Bunnies, but the one you sent me... WAS SO BORING! I HATED IT! it sang songs, it tried to teach my my ABC's! god that that was so ANYOYING! So i took the honor in cutting it open ripping that annoying voicebox out, and i installed tons of motha humpin explosives in its belly, I decided that she was going to be Mushy snugglebutts twin sister Mushycuddle butt, but i accidently detonated her and now shes dead.

- Mr Torgue! i'm sorry i couldn't understand your letter, because THE ENTIRE LETTER, WAS CENSORED. here i will send you your letter back and show you. oh and Mr T! i will send you what you asked for as long as you come over next week and attend my sleepover. Your letter says. TINA HOW THE **** ARE YOU? I JUST WANTED TO **** KNOW IF YOU **** WANT TO BLOW SOME **** UP! ALSO I NEED FOR YOU TO MAIL ME A NEW TEA SET, AND IF ANYONE ASKS. TELL THEM TO GO **** THEMSELVES.

- Mordecai, for the last time! it wasn't me!... ok...okay wait, as i sit here, and read the back side of your letter i did realize that one out of 10 of those unicorns was mine, the one i drew was farting rainbows, and i miiiight have accidently draw your face next to its bottom, but that's only because.. oh look i'm out of space on my paper (scribbles all over the rest of the page)

-Brick, yes we can play bunkers and Badasses again!

-Brick, Yes you can punch stuff

-Brick, yes. you can still name your siren Brick

-Brick, you know what yes to everything! except for remaning Butt Stallion

-Gaige, Hi gaige! you want to know the reason why i wanted to borrow Death Trap? well ms Gaige, that is top secret info that i cannot share with you, please do not get offended, by the way whos Marcy?

- Gaige, wow gaige, i have 3 words to say to you, and that in Lan...gu...age..

- Maya, yes please, i need you to phaslock Gaige, because she will not hand over death trap. i need to use him for some top secret stuff!

-Roland, HI roland! its so nice to hear from you, i miss you! i would love it if you came over to my hide out, and took me back to Sanctuary, i really want to spend time with you and Lillith, watch a movie, maybe we could invite all the other Vault hunters over, and have a partay! oh and all the adults can get drunk and be real silly, by the way, is Gaige old enough to drink?

-Roland Damn it! i mean... darn, oh well, i guess i won't be able to get her drunk... unless.

-Gaige , what? all i wanted to know was your age, and when your birthday was or if you wanted to drink alcohol illegally, i mean come on, roland is throwing the worlds most pimptastic party, and you aren't going to go? gosh you are soooo rascist!

- Gaige yes you are!

-Gaige, whaaaaat? how rude! you suck!

- Gaige, i'm sorry too, Really? i can use death trap!? thank you so much! we are going to have so much fun playing dressup! i mean! wait no you didn't see that!

-marcus, Hi marmar! can you BuhLeeve someone tried to open up a shop infront of you gunshop machine? it didn't last very long though, i did as you said and i blew them the hell up! i feel bad for that teenager, the last thing he said before the bombs went off is that he was trying to make enough money to purchase a bike.

- Handsom Jack, Yes i do love babysitting Buttstallion, i tried to feed her explosives hoping she would poop out explosives, then she would really have a guy full of dynamite and a booty like pow!

-Anonymous, I TOLD YOU I HATE RAISINS WHY IN THE HELL DID YOU SEND ME A BOX OF RAISNS!? you are going to make me loos my mind, up in here, up in here

- Anonymous, if you send me another raison, i will find you... track you down.. and kill you.. you wana go?... i have a house full of explosives!

- well everyone that's all the mail i have time to read and if you have random questions you want to ask me please write them in the review section and i will answer them. if you enjoyed reading what i send to my Pandora and hyperion friends please leave a review and i can do another one of these.


	2. Chapter 2 whoops

-Gaige, Hey Gaige! i'm sorry I haven't bee able to reply to the 200 messages you left me. I have no idea what you're talking about. i did not replace Deathrap's robotic arm with a rocket launcher, I simply made a few adjustments.

- Roland, thank you very much for attending my sleep over. No i did not fax the emberassing video of you dressed up for the Tiny tea party that we had. No Lillith will not see, and no i do not think of you as any less of a man.

- Roland, i said no!

-Lillith, i'm doing fine boo, thanks for asking, by the way did you get that video i sent to you last week?

-Roland, whaaaaaat, i have no motha humpin idea how that footage of you got sent to Lillith. did you ever stop to think that maybe it was Sir Reginald who sent the video?

-Brick, I miiiight need you to slam a book over Roland's head in attempts to trigger some sort of memory loss thing. or at least knock him out or something so he doesn't remember about the embarrassing video

-dablackwyrm fanfic reviewer, nah book i don't check my spam folder anymore. the last time i checked it my computer got a virus and i had to blow it up... we don't have geek squads here on Pandora.

-Brick, yes you can punch him

-Brick, oopsie! i didn't know that was going to happen.. i uh, i think you should take him to go see doctor Zed.

- Lillith, hey boo! i think you should have Maya PhaseLock brick into the air, what he did to Roland was totally uncalled for. now you see why my hideout is in the middle of Tundra Express.

-Mordecai, shut the hell up Mordy!

-Axton, Hey! i haven't gotten anything from you yet, i'm doing splendid, you need me to do what to your wife?

-Axton, ooohhh i get it! your wife is your turret, heh heh! sure i can upgrade her explosives, just stop on by anytime, if i'm taking a nap, you wan wake me up! i promise i won't get mad... maybe

- Zero, i'm sorry i still don't understand what a Haiku is, could you maybe break it down for me shawty?

-Mr Torgue, i am happy to know your tea set arrived, and i did tell the mailman to go F*** himself.

-Mr Torgue, no i did not let him get away... i blew his ass up!

-Anonymus Raisin sender, I swear to the pandorian gods that i will find you... and i will murderlize you!

- Jimmy Dean 4 the Beans fanfic reviewer, i'm glad you enjoy this boo! oh snaaaap i really love your name, looking at it makes me hungry!

- well that's all the time i have for today, Apparently Lillith wants to have a little talk about what happened to Roland.


End file.
